What’s The Worst That Could Happen?

All of us (myself included), have things that we hold on to for reasons that seem sound enough in our heads when actually they are simply excuses to put off making a concrete decision.  Those limitless reasons can be agonizing.  It is only when we are real with ourselves that the true reason comes into focus.

 

For the sake of this discussion, let’s consider a once-favorite, indispensible pair of shoes.  I had a pair in college.  They were black leather loafers with a silver buckle.  They were a little preppy, a little funky, and absolutely perfect!  In a shoe relationship, they were a BFF.  Well, as all BFF shoes do, they wore out.  I no longer wore them yet kept them in my closet as a type of security blanket.

 

I would put them on every so often before quickly taking them off knowing they passed their prime; yet in my closet they remained.  I thought, “How long should I keep a pair of shoes that were once treasured and no longer useful?” For me, it was about two years.  In all honesty, that is about 18 months too long. So, one day I asked myself, “What is the worst thing that would happen if these shoes would be gone forever?”  The answer is: nothing.

 

The answers to questions like these are different for each person. As a rule, six months is a reasonable amount of time to decide if a pair of shoes will ever be worn again, twelve months at the most.  If you relocate during that period, the decision may come more quickly. So, when you go through the process of determining what to keep and what to share, these are the questions you should ask yourself.  The questions aren’t nearly as important as the honest answers.

 

Have I used this item in the past year?

Will I need it on a definite date in the future?

Do I need to keep it for legal or tax purposes?

(If you answer NO to any of these questions, let it go.)

What useful purpose does it serve in my life?

What is the worst thing that could happen if it were gone?

Does it make me happy?

 

As I have said before, and I will say it again, everything in your space should make you happy on some level.

 

These set of questions will help you get started but one basic fact remains…if you aren’t ready to part with it, don’t.  Revisit the item again in six months and ask yourself the same set of questions.

Have a Neat day!

Jennifer Snyder

Neat as a Pin Organizing Experts

www.neatasapin.net

Organizing a Disorganized Family

In my line of work I meet so many wonderful people.  Whether through working, speaking, teaching, or casual contact in my daily life; almost all of them have a burning question to ask me about getting organized.  Two questions turn up far more often than any others.  One being whether or not I have ever worked with a real hoarder (the answer is yes) and the second being how to get your family on board when trying to get better organized.  This answer is not quite so simple.

 

One very important thing to keep in mind is that regardless of how many family members you may have in your home with you, it is their home too.  Although much research has been conducted on the overall benefits of living in an organized environment, some people just aren’t interested.  Should you happen to be married to one of these, hope is not lost but it will be a challenge, for sure.

 

When asked this question, I always tell people to never underestimate the power of compromise.  If you share a space with someone and as difficult as it may be to imagine, there are things you do that bothers them as well.  These things are your bargaining tools.  Quid pro quo…I will put away your laundry if you will make the bed before you leave the house.  I won’t throw away your magazines if you stack them neatly in a designated place.

 

This process can work beautifully yet it must be handled delicately.  Take one thing at a time.  When one area has been successfully negotiated and implemented, begin another.  For a safe, long-term fix, I would recommend one change every three weeks to a month.  It is also important to note, that your spouse should have a designated area within the home where he or she can be themselves without having to adhere to strict organizational guidelines.  A man-cave or a scrapbook room are perfect examples.

 

Children are another, much simpler story…clear instructions, rewards, and consequences.  Take care to clearly communicate what you expect then establish rewards for meeting or (hopefully) exceeding those expectations and consequences when not given a genuine effort.  If the effort is there, provide additional, patient training.  Children of all ages love to learn and as their parent you are their most important teacher.  All children can be organized provided they are taught and supported by an organized, loving parent.

 

Have a neat day!

Jennifer Snyder

Neat as a Pin Organizing Experts

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Are You a Gatekeeper?

I recently read a fascinating article in Real Simple magazine regarding Women & Time.  Probably the most fascinating aspect is a phenomenon called Gatekeeping.  In short, Gatekeeping is when we have avenues in which we could delegate tasks but choose not to do so as then we would relinquish control.

 

Control is a big word and one few take lightly.  When it comes to our homes, we (speaking to women here) are the master of our domain.  I can’t tell you how many husbands or sons will purchase gift certificates for me to help their wives or mothers get more organized, only to never hear from them.  If the woman takes the initiative, the husbands are typically onboard 100% until we discuss their “man cave”.  My point is, we want to be in control of our space, yet we also want more time to do things we enjoy.

 

So how do we achieve that?  I would recommend seriously considering your priorities.  When it comes to your home, is a clean toilet more important to you than pressed curtains?  Is putting away dishes properly more important than a few extra minutes of play time when bathing small children?  Make a list of all of your tasks then go back through them and prioritize them with 1 being the most important and the last number (coinciding with the number of items on the list) being least important to you.

 

Take that last, least important item, and delegate it to someone else and see what happens.  Just as an example, lets hypothesize that making beds is lowest on your list.  If your home is like mine, no one else can make a bed just quite right.  The pillows aren’t lined up right or the sheets hang out from under the duvet.  Take the time to truly show the recipient of this task how it should be done and let them do it.  Giving constructive criticism at first then backing off.  Even if they aren’t done exactly to your specifications, it is easier to go back and fix it than do the whole thing.

 

Once that last item is ok, move onto another one, before long you will, hopefully, be a master delegator.  Don’t think your family can do it?  Guess again.  Don’t underestimate them before giving them the opportunity after adequate training.  “Adequate” being the most important aspect.  If my family of 3 boys can do it, so can yours!

 

Have a Neat Day!

Jennifer Snyder

Neat as a Pin Organizing Experts

www.neatasapin.net